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Networking Is Not Working
Stop Collecting Business Cards and Start Making Meaningful Collections
by Derek Coburn
A Summary by StoryShots
Your network's value isn't measured by how many people you know.
Introduction
You've collected hundreds of business cards, attended countless mixers, and promised to "grab coffee sometime." Yet your network hasn't generated meaningful business or referrals. That's the thesis of Networking Is Not Working: Stop Collecting Business Cards and Start Making Meaningful Connections, by Derek Coburn. Traditional networking doesn't fail because you're doing it wrong. It fails because the entire model is broken.
Stop Attending Networking Events
The typical networking event is built on a flawed premise: quantity matters more than quality. You show up, shake hands with fifty people, exchange cards, and leave feeling productive. But you just had fifty shallow conversations with people you'll never see again. Most professionals treat networking like a numbers game. Collect enough contacts and something will stick. But this creates a database of strangers, not a network of allies. The moment you need an introduction, you realize you have a hundred acquaintances and zero advocates. "Stop trying to meet more people. Start trying to know fewer people better." The real cost isn't wasted evenings. It's the opportunity cost of what you could have built instead.
Give Before You Ask
The networking model teaches you to pitch yourself first, then ask what the other person needs. The most powerful networkers lead with generosity. They study the people they want to connect with, identify what those people need, and deliver value before any relationship exists. This sounds simple, but most people resist it because it requires work upfront with no guaranteed return. You have to offer a meaningful introduction or insight before you've met someone. But this is precisely why it works. Everyone else is asking. You're the only one giving. "Generosity isn't a networking tactic. It's the entire strategy." But generosity alone isn't enough if you're giving it to the wrong people.
Build Your "Cadre"
A "cadre" is a small, curated group of professionals who meet regularly, refer business to each other, and actively invest in each other's success. This isn't a mastermind group where everyone talks about goals. It's a trust-based ecosystem where members have complementary skills, shared values, and genuine commitment to helping each other win. The key: radical selectivity. You're not inviting everyone. You're building a team. The cadre model works because it replaces breadth with depth. Instead of maintaining weak ties with hundreds of people, you build strong relationships with ten. These ten people know your business well enough to refer you confidently. They trust you enough to make introductions to their best clients. When you need help, they respond immediately because the relationship isn't transactional. It's foundational. "Your network's value isn't measured by how many people you know. It's measured by how many people will take your call." If this changed how you think about networking, someone in your life probably needs to hear it too.
Final Summary
This summary of Networking Is Not Working by Derek Coburn connects three ideas: traditional networking wastes time on shallow connections, effective networking starts with giving value before asking, and the most powerful network is small and built on deep trust. But the full summary includes the step-by-step framework for identifying who belongs in your cadre, the specific questions to ask when vetting potential members, and the meeting structure that keeps relationships productive. You'll also discover how to exit unproductive networking commitments and case studies of professionals who rebuilt their businesses using this model. We're putting together the full summary of Networking Is Not Working right now, with a visual infographic and animated video. Follow the book in the StoryShots app to get it the moment it's ready.
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